Turning 40, at 41 maybe!
Musings from the luckiest motherfucker alive
It took 40 trips around the sun to write down these notes. I hope reading these notes 10 years from now will help my moral compass determine whether I was still naïve in my 40th, or outright crazy.
- Life ~ Amongst other inabilities, I am not good at dealing with things deemed complex and complicated. It is quite a feat to grasp the meaning of living a meaningful life. I find “living a meaningful life” subject rather complex, or complicated, or even both. The “living a meaningful life” concept makes sense to me from a naïve and lazy perspective. On one hand, there are smaller things that lazy folks tend to cherish the most such as sleeping, eating, friendship; and on another rather naïve angle — being good at something that helps others achieving those same smaller things. These top the list of things I consider essential for a “living a meaningful life”. \
- Positive thinking ~ I have heard the tale of half-empty/full glass two kinds of people. Even though I tend to have a positive outlook on things, at some point It also makes more sense to take a glass by its word, or look. It is either full, or it is not. My understanding of positivity tends to be on the side that believes in possibilities to fill the missing part, half or not. Call it a “pragmatist positive thinking” if it so pleases. Out of necessity, and as a defense mechanism, I have to confess I developed a reflex to run away from sources of bad energy, or negativity. It soothes the soul and strengthens the body. \
- Relationships ~ From observations, I came to the conclusion that making the room for the other, on yet another small thing that is ” listening”, makes relationships work or fail. Acknowledging that I am fallible marks the first step to “wanting to listen” to the other. Incorporating things learned from the other into my belief system cultivates mutual understanding, strengthening our relationship bonds along the way. It worked for friends, acquaintances – and has been tested with my partner in crime for now 7 solid years. \
- Career ~ *“Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” ~ I tend to believe Mark Twain said that*. When work starts feeling like a burden, Is a good indication that it is time to pivot. With life experience, knowledge is transferable from one domain to the next. Luck always plays a great deal, but putting in the hours to sharpen one's craft helps to be at the right place, for when time comes for the gods of luck to strike. The shift in thinking on ” trading time for money” helps in choices I make about career and growth. \
- Minimalism ~ I hold a belief that the very foundation of minimalism is in “being appreciative of stuff one already owns”. Starting taking stuff as tools designed to make life better, as opposed to being a burden, paves the way to start cutting down on those stuffs that really don't serve this purpose: living a simple happy fulfilled life. The concept of minimalism is applicable to all angles of life, from household items I choose to buy or let-go, to friends, to work and to time itself. \
- Work ~ It seems that there are hidden challenges that make finish a little hard, especially when you are a procrastinator. Starting is always the easy part of the equation. For minimalists, there are powers in procrastination that worth exploring and unleashing. Not starting at all — but finishing a handful things that worth my time. The brain can only focus on a few things at a time. Multitasking is a failure from the get-go, if you are a primate. Doing one thing that worth working on at a time, the incrementalist way, is where the powers of procrastination lie. A job is not going to give you happiness, but work well done will.\
- Parenting ~ I am a living testament to those parents who don't know what the heck they are doing. I am an impostor, and can't wait for my son reminding me that when he finally finds out. Whatever I do, or fail to do, there is a thing or two that constantly reminding me how lucky I am, can't help but wishing luck to millions of couples struggling to have and raise their children. Before being a dad to my son, I was a dad to a son. And before that, a dad to a daughter and half. Both of which didn't make it. \
- Alcohol ~ Alcoholism is a serious problem, and I have no intention of degrading efforts done by folks who have challenges overcoming. At any point, this note is for glorifying the liquid that makes life fun, with a high potential to ruining it. Drink in moderation, enjoy the pleasures of being tipsy, and illusions of being inherently smart past the second glass mark. It is always Beer O'Clock somewhere ~ and cheerfully, never hesitate being at that “somewhere”, on-time ~ Skål! \
- Growth ~ Failure is what makes growing a little more fun. A constant reminder of imperfections, an indicator of one more mile yet to be crossed. Having to constantly put in the hours, making each hour count, and letting the gods of luck figuring out what counts as a success, constitute my north star. The moments of growth are those hours grinding on a thing or two, each stroke cast on this canvas that is life, each harsh humbling equally teaching moment, every drop of a tear, every book read and every song heard, from a joke of a friend to an actual fuckup ~ every single one of those moments inches a little more extra room yet to fill.
- Happiness ~ Money definitely do give and buy happiness — with a good dose of spoils you can afford with it, and the ability it gives to help those in need. Empty words won't comfort an empty belly of a homeless! Definitely, $1 or $2 cup of coffee will. On top of “instant gratification” shared both ways. Happiness is a summation of those “instant gratifications”, along the line of life, at least that is what I believe.
- Turning 40 in a pandemic is a tough business. Friends and family have no other alternative but celebrate such a milestone in spirit. At 41 maybe, when the luxury of togetherness becomes once again a normalcy, will we be able to celebrate life and all it has to offer, bitter or sweet. Till then, there is nothing greater than life full of surprises I wish to those dear to me, and fellow humans.
May these notes be — yet another beginning of reflections on life, luck, and everything in between. For, they embody neither illumination of any kind nor some sort of wisdom, but simply being the luckiest motherfucker alive to afford time and health to write them down.